How to have a better O (yes, THAT kind)

Hello lovelies!

Here is your Power to the Pelvis Newsletter for November! The holiday season is officially upon us, fall is in full swing, and those chilly nights for bundling up are upon us!

Let’s get real for a second — when’s the last time you actually felt connected during intimacy, not just going through the motions? So many of my clients have shared that sex has become one more “thing to do,” rather than something that fills their cup. The truth is, libido and orgasm are about so much more than hormones — they’re about nervous system safety, body connection, and the ability to let go.

Let’s explore some of the real factors that influence pleasure — and how your pelvic floor plays a bigger role than you might think.

* Tip of the Month: From ‘Just Fine’ to Fireworks 🔥

If you’ve never experienced orgasm, or if you’ve noticed changes in sensation or desire, this can be deeply impactful. Let’s explore some factors that might be playing a role — and what you can do to reconnect with pleasure.

1. You’re Not Broken

Difficulty achieving orgasm is common and not a sign of dysfunction. Many factors influence arousal and orgasm — it’s not just about “trying harder” or “relaxing more.”

2. Accelerator & Brakes

Your sexual response system has:

🚦 Accelerators: things that turn you on

🛑 Brakes: things that turn you off

Often, orgasm difficulty comes from stronger brakes — not a faulty accelerator. Nervous system regulation (your stress response) also plays a big role here.

3. Context Matters — A LOT

Arousal depends on feeling safe, comfortable, and unjudged. Stress, body image, past trauma, or even a messy room can shut things down. Good sex happens when your environment and mindset support arousal — mentally, emotionally, and physically.

4. Desire Styles Vary (and That’s Normal)

💥 Spontaneous desire happens out of the blue. 🌿 Responsive desire develops after arousal begins (like during touch or connection). Many women experience responsive desire — and that’s completely normal.

5. Pleasure > Performance

Focus on what feels good, not on achieving orgasm as a goal. When you let go of pressure and stay curious about sensation, orgasm often becomes more accessible.

6. Nonconcordance Is Real

Physical arousal (lubrication, swelling) doesn’t always match mental arousal — and vice versa. It’s okay if your body and brain don’t always sync — they’re still learning how to work together.

I will say that having a good lube is SUPER important. You can check out some of my faves here!

7. Self-Knowledge Is Empowering

Explore what feels good without pressure. Solo touch, fantasy, and mindfulness can all support your journey. Knowing your turn-ons, turn-offs, and arousal patterns helps guide your partner, too.

8. Pelvic Floor Tension May Be a Factor

Chronic tightness, pain, or disconnect in pelvic floor muscles can dampen arousal. Reconnecting with your body through breath, movement, and pelvic floor therapy can improve those pleasure pathways.

💗 Want personalized support or an exam to see what’s really going on?

📍 Book a pelvic floor session (in-person or virtual): 👉 Schedule ​here​

* IG I'm loving:

✨ Want some fun tips to spice up your intimate life? Check out my friend Lindsey’s ​Instagram​

She and her husband Doug share playful, down-to-earth intimacy strategies that have supported their 20-year marriage — with kids, chaos, and all.

* BONUS:

🔥 6 Pelvic Floor Tips to Help with Orgasm During Penetration

1. Learn to Contract and Relax
Many people think kegels are the answer — but only contracting the pelvic floor can actually make things worse.
➡️ Instead, learn how to fully release your pelvic floor too. Strong orgasms need flexibility, not just strength.

2. Sync Your Breath with Movement
Breathing deeply into your belly and pelvic floor (diaphragmatic breathing) improves blood flow and reduces tension.
➡️ Exhale during penetration or when trying to climax — this helps release control and increase sensation.

3. Use a Mirror or Pelvic Wands
Explore your pelvic floor externally - with a mirror or wand. This helps build body awareness and desensitizes tight or guarded areas.
➡️ I’d be happy to guide you safely with tools or educate you to do hands-on techniques.

4. Address Any Pain or Tension
Pain with penetration or orgasm often means there’s pelvic floor overactivity (tight muscles, scar tissue, trauma).
➡️ Pelvic floor therapy can help release this — and improve your brain-body connection to pleasure.

5. Practice Mindful Touch
Slow, mindful self-touch helps retrain your nervous system.
➡️ Focusing on sensation (not just outcome) builds arousal pathways and helps the pelvic floor respond more fluidly.

6. Train with Core & Glutes
Surprisingly, your pelvic floor functions best when your core and glutes are strong and coordinated.
➡️ Add bridges, squats, and breath-to-core exercises to improve endurance and muscle coordination for orgasm.

See you next month!

#thebigo #orgasmawareness #clitorit #pleasurematters #mountainmamapelvichealth